Playing with words
of IMPertinence, Musticality
and Profusion
excerpts from
the forthcoming book Impudence!
Mirthquakes! Poppycock!
By "The Imp and I", Beverley Howden
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The Oops!ogy of Toxicology: Implications
for Metallic Psychology - an Industrial, Machinated, Plutonian Trilogy.
Indisputably Metallurgical Patter
Tin is, interestingly, more periodically suffoncified than other metals.
Tin chemicalizes sufficiently to lessen gold’s impact on blacksmiths and
Ladysmith, B.C., Canada.
Tin snips, pistol whips, potato chips (or do you prefer chocolate chips?)
Yum! Lugubrious lips. Veggie dips, skinny dips.... I digress...
Rin Tin Tin, chew on lye.
Gold! Gold eel ox meat the tree bars.
Platinum popsicles replay past lives with future shock. Electrifing!
Indecipherable Metallic Profiteering is prohibited
in coal mines.
Is it time to be unionizing tuning forks, privatizing pocket knives and
standardizing soup spoons?
Money talks. Nickels nudge n wink. Dimes dimly delivery oodles of
doodles. Coin you make any cents of this? Bills thrills!
Are ewe a profit in yore own hand?
Indecent Metabolized Pendulums
Toothless sorghum wenches are indentured to mercurial corpses.
In descent, you met a ball eyes duh... pencil-dulums!!!
Zinc this is crazy? Nuf sed!
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Speech # won
Before the word was the wonder. Wonder what became of the inexplicable
certitudes given certificates by certified substitutes for less certain
recreational pursuits.
Suits suit some suitors. Others are best left to their own resources. Others
to their honorable yet devious devices and dithering devotions.
Vices, which appear subliminally virtuous should never regret canceling
concerts over strung by underlings beneath their beds.
Beyond these matters, nothing matters – not mice, not mattresses, not
meritorious meandering, neither rain nor snow nor feet.
Don’t fret the big stuff. Count frets on violins before pondering the
preciousness of fretting over stewed prunes.
Be grateful for craters. Be creative with graters. Be cautious when
nauseous. Be wary when weary. Be silly when chilly. Be monotonous only when
merited by circumstances or insistence on culinary fraud.
Before ending, start over. Enough said about spinach patter sew rapidly
proliferating from my pen. Amen.
P.S. Before I go, remember that illustrating mosaic particleboard
blueprints of illustrious, magnanimous, pragmatists
while fending off instinctively mediocre popcorn is
distasteful. Who’s a poppin’!
P.P.S. You won!
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Speech # too
Too few circumnavigated species appreciate too many meanderings mitigated by
weather reports. Despite this limitation, the lamentation of the nation only
accentuates the perplexity inherent in too many toes on a sloth.
Anyone too intelligent about dumbness, numbness or crumbness crumbles later
rather than sooner. Too good. Too bad. Too rude. Too sad. Too far. Too near.
Too blue. Too cheer. Raw! Raw! Raw! (If you prefer cooked, then cry in your
beer.)
Beer belly polka dots on candlelit mornings never amount to tin dollars.
Don’t get even, get odd. Too odd. Too mod. Too rod. Too sod. Shorter
sentences suddenly solidify the substance suspected on serving only the
slothful.
Who is interfering too much with, moping over too often and
feeling too petulantly perturbed about independent, too methodical,
pretzels? Or for that matter, too intrusive, too mendacious,
polliwogs!
Too end. Glad o’ that?
P.S. Do "The Imp" and I sound philosophical or political? What!!!
P.P.S. From my 1574 page dictionary: ‘Deontology’ means "the ethical
doctrine which holds that the worth of an action is determined as by its
conformity to some binding rule rather than by its consequences."
Does that make any more sense than what "The Imp and I" write?
P.P.P.S. Microsoft Word does not recognize ‘deontology’ – it underlines it
in red...
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